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29-Sep-2016 20:54

None of my friends use or Guardian Soulmates and the sheer immediacy of dating apps is a whole different playing field to traditional ‘online dating’ or meeting someone IRL. The online playing field is fickle, fast-paced and essentially, entirely superficial.Within minutes you can find someone hot, then find out if they like similar things to you, hang out at the same places, then within seconds find out who your mutual friends are, where they last got drunk and where their mum lives. The excitement and urgency at which we find people is reflective of the speed at which we move on.Most living grown-ups have a history of exes, hang-ups and maybe a nervous breakdown or two. They know that you have a past, but they don’t want to hear about it. Some online dating profiles read like shopping lists.They’re looking for someone with brown eyes, short hair, between 5’10” and 6′, from north-east Birmingham, and so on. First, they make the writer sound like a control freak.I also like meeting during the day, since it's safer.Oh, and never meet at a bar or club for your initial meeting; its too loud to talk and there are so many other risks that you don't want to take going that route.6. This is just the two of you meeting for the first time.Say which music you like, and your favourite place to see your friends.Specific information does more than make you sound interesting – it also gives potential dates something to write to you about.

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But the term ‘online dating’ already feels so dated; it’s not really relevant for our generation.These rules came from mistakes made and lessons learned. Now, I didn't just make up these rules: they came from mistakes made and lessons learned. No matter how great he sounds, insist on meeting in public for your initial meeting, and even your second or third meeting. I have met my share of men that I initially met online, and I have developed a few rules that I follow when it comes to meeting in person. This is number one since I cannot stress it enough.But now that cuffing season is officially over and spring has sprung, it’s a good time to establish some ground rules, and air out some basic do’s and don’ts. If they’re looking to get laid, they put out a thirst trap, out come the dog-filter Snapchats, the subtly sexual ‘mood’ posts and late-night ‘me rn’ selfies. Wait too long and the match loses the initial surprise and energy.

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I asked a bunch of men and women, straight and gay, some questions about how they behave when dating online. Overall, men didn’t seem to care what they post, their profile pics or what women put, when they’re on dating apps they’re simply “on safari”. There’s also an attraction to assertiveness.” Said one of the guys I asked. Other than finding out who each other’s mutual friends are and where their aunt went on holiday last year.

It's kind of like 'proof' that they are a real person, and not someone with a fake online profile; it's a red flag if someone who says they want to meet you won't give you their phone number or says that they can't be reached by phone. Meeting someone in person that you initially met online can be nerve-wracking, and agreeing on something casual is a great way to take some of the pressure off.